Masochistic Fool

The following is an actual message. Name has been changed to protect the identity of the C.A.N.

Candace,
I apologize that you had to be caught in the middle. I was not trying to cause any drama with you. You and I both know that if there is “the other woman”, it is not that other woman’s fault. That man is the liar/cheater. I took a passive approach to trying to find out if you knew about me. I found out about you a little while ago and after asking him about you, I needed to verify if you knew about me. So, I used Facebook.

I have not brought up the contact via Facebook to him. And if you have contacted him, he would not tell me. Did you contact him? What reason did he give you for lying to you? What did he say about me/us? [The C.A.N.] and I have been together for 3 ½ years. When was the last time you saw /talk to him? If you do not want to answer any of these questions, I understand. I have never been in this type of relationship before, so I am just trying to get some answers for myself.

Take care. BTW, you are quite talented and I wish you much success and happiness.

*************************

The last thing she said to me was "guard your heart".

I have yet to figure out if a weak woman walks away and a strong woman stays and fights. Would a strong woman kick that [expletive expletive double negative expletive] out and a weak woman take that [expletive expletive double negative expletive] back? We seemed to be in solidarity when we last spoke. I had her address from her failed attempt at hoodwinking me into a possible throwdown on her turf, I even had gas in the tank. I was ready to watch it all go up in flames.

They must love each other. She loves him, for sure. He loves her too, I think. She said he was a liar, and he is. So maybe he does love her and what he told me was just something to keep me from thinking I had a snowballs chance in Florida. I do appreciate that. I wouldn't want to have to ask the dude I'd been happily shacked up with about the picture of the hot pink lace covered mounds of joy I'd found in his email. I wouldn't want to have to do the research she had to do to find me. She even dropped bread crumbs for me (tagged me in note, posted some pictures she promptly snatched down a few hours after our detailed phone conversation. It was all very Maury Springer). Now we're on family vacation again? Whaaaaa? How'd that happen?

I guess I should ask myself why I still take a peak. Curiosity killed something didn't it? I'll admit I miss him. We had a good time together, what can I say. I know I wished him ill will but since I didn't mean it for real, I guess I'm glad he didn't get sliced up by his "actual" chick. You know what, I hope he behaves himself. I hope he doesn't mess that up. He tried to and she, apparently, didn't let him. Strength or weakness?

It's really none of my business. It's a situation that I hate that I was ever involved in. It's a situation that may occur in the future, especially in this age of fashionable ho-ism. It's a situation I don't ever want to be on either side of... the girl who resorts to guerilla tactics or the girl who asked a random stranger who commented on a picture of T.H.E.M. together if he knew what was going on and if he wouldn't mind telling me. Yeah, I did that). I'm not good at handling drama, which is why I removed myself from it. And while I could sure use one of those former frequent visits he used to make, the ones I'd almost jump up and down about, or hurriedly tidy up my room for, the ones I would run and shave my legs or at least make sure my hair was symmetrically tousled for, as much as I want to poke my finger in his dimples, I can't. I won't. I'm too good for him.

In the immortal words of Big Boi..."I can't even smoke like that so you can go on and keep that".

This [is] some of that West Coast.