sing it like Lil' Kim sang it.

I distinctly remember the apple green jolly ranchers at my first wedding. I was the two year old flower girl. I attended my second wedding at age 5. I remember the brown and blue floral print two pieced outfit I wore with my brown hush puppies. I also remember dancing to some song. I snuck a glass of champagne from the fountain at my Uncle’s wedding when I was 8. When I was 13, Senay’s uncle got married. I wore the navy blue dress that had been purchased from Macy’s for my first junior high school dance. When my cousin got married a few months later, I wore the same dress my friend had worn to her uncle’s wedding (in a different size of course). I was 16 when another cousin got married. She had two receptions and two dresses, one of them had a removable cropped jacket. Another cousin got married two years later, then another two, and so on. My best friend got married when we were 22. My brother got married when I was 30. I count 24 weddings that I’ve attended. Nine of those ended in divorce. Two, one about $20,000+, the other about $100,000 were over in less than one year.

I’ve been backstage at enough weddings to know how much planning goes into them. All the way down to the groom's socks. Chair covers, flowers, the cream in the second tier of the wedding cake, the color of the foiled print on the ribbons wrapped around the mesh bag of yogurt covered almonds. All that stuff cost money. Chair covers rental for 100 people is like $500. dude.

I have always been fascinated by weddings. Dancing, eating, drinking happy friends and family, the celebration of love, the prospect of winning another baby shower game prize in a few years. We hope the wedding singer blows us away (to date, no one has come close to Jeanette). We hope the food is good (Jerold’s was by far the best). I hope the cake has whipped cream frosting and fresh strawberries in the middle (not the strawberry goo), and free flowing champagne is always nice, and a dj—no bands.

When I was younger I would fantasize about what my wedding would be like. My dress was going to be a massive ball of satin ruffles and lace. Johnny Gill would shed a tear as I walked down the aisle while Luther Vandross sang “Here and Now”. My flower girls, the ones who are now about on their way to college, would look so nice in their own be-ruffled concoctions. My cake would have whipped cream frosting (I insist). When I was younger, there was no planning, no saving, no “who’s going to pay for this”. When I was younger the wedding was infinite…I was getting married but I hadn’t thought about the wedding ending. At some point someone says for better or for worse…. You mean like when they play a song I don’t like but everyone else likes?

Money. Planning. Marriage. (sing it like Lil’ Kim sang Money Power Respect)

I’ve never met Johnny Gill. I’ve never met anyone from New Edition. I did see Ricky Bell coming out of Del Taco in The Valley once. Point is, if I ever get to [insert place I’d be standing if I were about to complete merger] it won’t be Johnny Gill I’ll be saying yes to. And there goes the money I’d need to pay for my chair covers. You know what though, Johnny Gill might be a jerk, and even if (when I was 12) I thought he’d look hot in our wedding pictures, the wedding is %.01 of the marriage. The other %99.9 is us at the house, me in my brother’s old track sweats and a ball of hair bundled on top of my head, and Johnny with a wave cap on and his crusty feet scratching up my ottoman.

Two of my best friends are getting married soon. Two more weddings. I’ll be 33 and 34 for #25 and #26. I’m excited about the details. I’m excited for them. I wouldn’t care if I got an email with a photo attachment that said “guess what I did last Saturday” in the subject heading. Or the full invitation return envelope sha-bang. I hope the chicken isn’t dry. I hope they both have whipped cream frosting and strawberries. I hope the wedding singer makes the hairs on my arm stand up (or at least they pick a really cool song to walk down the aisle to). I hope I hold it together. I hope we have as much fun as I know they want to have. I hope it doesn’t rain, but even if it does

I hope they stay [happy] together.