His teeth were crowded to the front like the floor at those hip hop shows I used to go to at Maritime Hall. He was bespectacled too. Kinda goofy, but I’m kinda goofy too. Nice guy though.
He had a big head, almost too big for his body. He had a lisp. But his lips were really nice. And he was really smart. And I like that.
He was short and kind of round. Well, he was almost 5’9”. Probably the love of my life except for one itty bitty, tiny, teenie weenie.
When I showed my mom a picture of my third high school boyfriend (or my last boyfriend. Whatever’s clever) she said “ugh. Look at his lips”. They’re still awesome lips.
He had two small children by two different women and a part time job. And he was about 5’9-10”. He had some kind of thing on his face (and that’s the only way I can describe it). He sure could kiss though.
He was about 6’ tall, maybe 275lbs. None of it muscle. He was cool as a fan for a while but things fall apart. The last day was the day I almost suffocated holding my breath…..his mouth smelled so sour.Bootsy Collins. It was just that fonky.
He was SO gorgeous. 6’5”, dark skinned, plenty of muscles. Lovely lips. Just pleasing to the eye, except for the right front tooth (it was mauve). But like Shamar Moore, his fineness cancelled out the grill. AND he was a complete jerk. The last time I saw him he asked if I had ever been hit. Dude, you ain’t that fine.
I consider myself simple, not shallow. Sure I’d prefer Terrell Owens or his identical twin cousin to walk into my life and be the nicest, funniest, most responsible and loving wonderfully fantastical lover in the whole wide world and fall head over heels in love with me. Immediately. I’m sure any man would want Halle Berraaaaaay/Halley Berry to do just the same for him. It seems natural to me to want to be attracted to your husband, physically and emotionally. Sometimes, I’m attracted to dudes who bare no resemblance to the perfection manifested by the physical specimen that is #81. Sometimes I’m attracted to dudes who have few or none of the physical traits that I dream about, but are hilarious or witty, charming or sweet. There’ve been a few who were modern day statues of David, but sometimes they are mean or stupid or both. I’ve had the experience of just enjoying someone’s conversation in spite of his peculiar appearance as well as falling in love at first sight because he was just so amazingly beautiful. I've met ugly jerks and supafine nice guys.
I will admit I probably wish a little harder when I meet someone camera ready. Yes, I know marriage is more important than the wedding album, still I want my wedding pictures to be worthy of being the fake wedding picture the frame comes with. It’s a reflex. I don't discount somebody just because he's not my ideal. I do have a hard time with the height part, but I can at least say I've tried. I don't think my wanting to be attracted to my ONE has kept me from meeting him. I've passed up lots of guys (or lots have guys have passed me up. you choose) and it was never because he wasn't the hot joint (although that one dudes teenie weenie was too much, or, well, not enough to handle). It may seem as though I'm saying I don't want to talk to you because you're short or strange lookin'. I have probably already identified a trait in you that I am not willing to accept long term....
The dude with the teeth was corny. He called himself the tickle monster. eye roll.
The dude with the big head had too many chicks. manwhore. red flag.
The dude with the thing on his face had a thing on his face, knew someone i used to mess with, had two small children with mothers he constantly argued with and had a pt job with them two kids. red flag.
The old high school boyfriend moved on years ago.
The fine dude with the mauve tooth may have ended up killing me just because I looked like I could be killed. RED FLAG.
Point is, things can fall apart with a strange looking lame guy about as fast as they can with a successful hot guy. So I might as well wait for Terrell's twin cousin.
his twin cousin huh? lol.
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