Trigger

My mind immediately flashes to a perfect black and white photo on my wedding day. I'm fly as hell, as the bride should be. He is beautiful, not cheesing in the picture, like I am, but serene. Happy because I'm happy. In love. My vision lasts .0064 seconds.

My attraction to this man was instant. He has this pleasantness about him. It's just nice. It looks nice. It smells nice. It probably feels nice. I'd like to touch it.... or him. It may or may not have been obvious to him. I'm not one to speak up about my attraction at all, let alone right away. I like to watch and wait. I listen for clues, flaws, red flags, triggers. The milk chocolate layer might be hiding that cherry flavored shit they sneak on you in the office christmas candy box.

The last one was practically perfect too. But he wasn't good at what I wanted. Neither is this newer shinier model. He is as intelligent and as amusing as the 1971 version. He is as fine and could be (although v19.71 would be hard to top) as....mmm... innovative as the 1971 version. He probably has a better job and certainly not as many kids as the 1971 version. The 1981 version is a good catch, the 1971 version was a good catch, for somebody else (until she found out about me).

v19.81 is v19.71. Just has extra features.

I say all this just as a person who has met another person who looks like someone I'd have to make a late night phone call to a friend about. It's just like Keya said... she'd [pointed to Randa] get a phone call right away. "Look what I got". I've made that phone call a few times. But I ain't got nobody. I want somebody. I'd like him. I won't get him.

I could "initiate" or "be the aggressor". I won't. I need him to want me. He doesn't. I could fall into the friend category if I don't speak up. That's fine. That's better than falling into shit. I'm allergic to shit.

I am just not excited about handing me over arbitrarily . He gets offers and favors and extras from plenty of girls with friends they call as soon as he dozes off. I'd just be another piece. I'd be a story. "I had this one with DDD's and man she had all this hair, dog. Man." I've been that so many times. I've been that when I thought I wasn't. I've only ever been that. I like sex, I just prefer quality, not quantity. v19.81 is rapidly expanding it's operating system capabilities. Troubleshooting v19.71 was time consuming enough. I imagine with all the upgrades and new features v19.81 has, troubleshooting is a beast.

I could miss out if I don't say something soon. Some other chick could swoop in with her awesome head and her big finale. That would impress him more than my smile or my ear. I only have one pussy, v19.81 requires multiple ports. He expects what I either just don't do or just don't do for any old body. Competition is fierce. He knows that. I bet there's no more room for groupies on his bus. I think I'm safer over here where I don't have to say anything. Where I don't have to worry about what he thinks or if he's going to call me or text me or leave me a message on one of my devices.

I think by now, nothing has happened, nothing is going to happen. Not with this new high tech v19.81 package. I'm not advanced enough for this model.